Everything Happens for a Reason

    Recently, I joined our local sheriff’s department as a volunteer. One of the things I get to do is ride with the deputies which I did recently.

    One of the calls we rolled on was a possible domestic violence issue called in by a witness. When we got there, the deputy, who was looking to the left, saw the guy push the woman against a steel fence twice. I saw him push her once because I was looking the other way during our search until the deputy said she saw them.

    What it eventually came down to was that the young man said his girlfriend was out all night. They have a young daughter and are living with his mother and when the child’s mother came home, an argument ensued. The mom told them to take it outside so, fortunately, or unfortunately, they took it to the street where they could be seen and the call was made.

    His story was that she’d been out all night and he wanted to talk to her about it. They’re both VERY young and in a tough neighborhood where it’s hard for them to stay out of gangs and less than savory situations. He just began a new job and is trying to provide for his family while living with his mom.

    He stated that his girlfriend goes out all night with her girlfriends and when he tried to talk to her about it, according to him, she tried to scratch his face and he was holding her arms and pushing her against the wall to stop her from doing this and to get her to listen.

    Result here was, he was arrested originally for assault or domestic violence which was a felony. When we got to the jail, the deputy lowered it to a misdemeanor charge.

    Now, while I was in the midst of it, I felt sorry for the kid. He’s working; never been in trouble with the law, stays home with his mom and 3-year old daughter. His girlfriend comes home at 4 a.m., having been out all night with her friends and he tries to talk to her (using some force) and he gets arrested.

    At that time, I’d have let him go (and no, she wasn’t pressing charges yet, here in Ca. the deputy has the right to arrest on what he/she sees). After considering it for awhile I realized that, everything happens for a reason! Everything! There’s a growing/learning in everything if we can release the drama and experience and release the grief and accept whatever it is.

    Yes, I can hear people saying ~ so, there’s a reason for children to be kidnapped and women to be beaten and raped? Yes. EVERYTHING has a purpose in our lives. The hardest part is finding what that is especially when something so devastating happens.

    In this case, IF the young man had accepted, “yes, you’re going to jail”, he could have seen what it was a lot faster. (And yes, I can see his side too ~ as I said, I’d have let him go).... YET, since he was going to jail, what I could see from the outside looking in is that he was being taken out of his environment for, who knows how long? May have only been a few hours, maybe a day, may have been a few days yet, his mind was telling him it was going to be for awhile and he was panicking. Being taken out of his environment, not having to be concerned about his child, he could have time to reflect on why he was there ~ using force against a woman (or anyone) to get her to listen to him; and also, his relationship with his girlfriend are only two.

    When I was gang-raped at age 19, I could not have told you then what good that could possibly do in my life yet, now I can.

    I have a friend who lost his leg in a car versus motorcycle crash. He once told me, although he’d prefer to have his leg, it was the best thing that ever happened to him.

    We are amazing, flexible, industrious creatures. As we mature, as we go through our trials, IF we examine our part in them... IF we really look in depth, putting aside our grief, our anger, our other emotions, we can most often find the potential for growth within every incident even though, of course, we would have preferred many of them to not have happened.

    One family I heard of who was losing its home due to foreclosure went to counseling. The outcome as I remember it was, they accepted the loss of their home and felt unburdened by having to create the income to pay the mortgage and sold what they could, creating other businesses so they would continue having income, then traveled. Something they always wanted to do yet couldn’t because they were strapped to their home.

    Things always happen for a reason. In many cases, there will be necessity to grieve yet once acceptance enters, one can look at the reasons for the loss, the change and where growth can happen.

    For more information on this topic, Please check out this great interview with Dick Sutphen.

    Comments?

This is Revvell Revati wishing you a bodacious life and remember, always, play with your food!  Bye for now!