How to Bounce Back: The Scientific Art of Resiliency
by Judy Nelson

"It comes in waves," said one fire victim who lost everything she owned. (L.A.Times, Nov. 24, 2008) As they knelt in the ashes of what used to be their home, Julienne and her husband, Miki, alternated between laughing and sobbing, according to the article.

No one can predict whether Julienne or Mike will emerge from their shock and grief emotionally whole or emotionally broken. One major determining factor is how resilient they are.

Learning more about resiliency and how you can manage the inevitable organizational waves can be a critical step for Executives who want to become better leaders.

The dictionary definition of resiliency is, "The ability to recover quickly from illness, change, or misfortune; buoyancy."

In other words, resiliency is how quickly and how well we bounce back--from whatever may befall us. The farmer who loses his whole crop to disease, the carpenter who accidentally saws off his thumb, the parent who loses a child. All very different and with widely varying degrees of impact, but all requiring an ability to bounce back--to either survive or thrive.

Obviously, we can't control our genetics unless we chose our parents. But there is good news. One is that we can dramatically improve our skills in problem-solving and relationship building. Dramatically.

Let's look at the potential situations where you as an Executive might need resiliency:

• You are named as the plaintiff in a wrongful termination lawsuit.
• Your Board gives you a lower rating on your evaluation, denies your raise and gives you the chill.
• Your Star manager, the one you "can't live without," announces that she has accepted another job and is leaving in two weeks.
• The union organizers have acquired enough signatures to force a vote.
• The state orders a 5 percentk cut on all contracts because of the deficit. (10 percent?)
• A close relative is diagnosed with cancer.
• A colleague timidly suggests that you might want to get your hearing tested. When you finally do, you are advised to get hearing aides for both ears.
• You discover that your CFO and best friend has been altering the books--and the size of her bank account.

In all of these situations, you experience a setback and/or a threat to your job, your reputation, your self image, your security, your influence. How you respond is a measure of your resiliency.

In a life and property-threatening situation like a fire, you have little or no time to prepare and few options as to how to respond. If you haven't developed your resiliency before the crisis hits, it's a bit late.

Are there any prerequisites to improving one's resiliency? Absolutely. In fact there are three:

1. Are you ready?
2. Are you willing?
3. Are you able?

Being ready means that you can devote your full attention to the process. That you can turn off the computer, phones and interruptions to focus on the coaching process.

Being willing means that you are open to whatever it takes--particularly facing up to perceptions about you that you may not be aware of and/or that you don't want to admit. Maybe the toughest of the three.

Being able means that you are in enough control of the tendency to be defensive -- that you can analyze criticism instead of denying, defending or damning the source.

Tough stuff right? These are some of the toughest challenges you will ever face, because it means owning what you do and say, examining both and changing what interferes with excellence. So, here's the bottom line: Do you have the right stuff to do what it takes to improve your resilience--and therefore, your skills as a leader?

Coach Judy Nelson is a certified executive coach and leadership trainer. She helps exceptional executives become exceptional leaders. Judy’s skills in assessing, listening, giving honest feedback and holding people accountable help them to achieve their goals. Masters and law degrees plus 30 years as a coaching CEO give her unique insights. You can read more about Judy and sign up for her complimentary “Leadership Lessons” newsletter at www.CoachJudyNelson.com. Judy Nelson may be contacted at http://www.coachjudynelson.com or judyarticles@gmail.com