How to Get Children to Do Their Chores
By Paula Fellingham

The Thompson family decided at their weekly family meeting that each child would have a chore that they needed to do after school, before they could play. It was Thursday, and today Mom had a doctor’s appointment and she knew she wouldn’t be there after school.
She thought, “There is no way my children are going to do their chores without me. But why should I HAVE to be there, like a policeman, always nagging and checking to be sure they do their jobs right? “ Mom decided that today she wouldn’t say anything to remind them. The children knew what they should do, and they knew she’d be gone after school.
Sure enough, when Mom returned home after her appointment, not a single chore had been done. All four children were watching TV. What should Mom say? What should she do?

The Thompson children need to learn that there are always consequences for disobedience. At their weekly family meeting, when they decided on the chores, they should have also decided what consequence would follow if the children didn’t do their chores. Since they didn’t do that, Mom should:

1. Maintain control of her emotions, and calmly turn off the TV.
2. Sit down with her children and discuss what incorrect choices they made, and what correct choices they should have made. Explain that disobedience to family rules is unacceptable.
3. Tell them to do their chores immediately, and to be thinking about consequences which they think should follow disobedience. Tell the children you’ll all discuss it as a family at dinner, when Dad comes home. Giving the children time to think about their actions, and time to come up with consequences is a good idea.
4. At dinner, everyone should contribute to the discussion about consequences that are related to the action. In this case, I’d suggest that the children do an EXTRA job after school for the week that they disobeyed.

The four children should then all agree and commit to the decision which was made. They should all clearly understand the rules and their consequences. Then, the next time rules are disobeyed, the parents are out of the loop. It isn’t the parents who are “punishing” them ~ they simply will be reminded the children of their agreement, and that they are only disobeying their own rules.
This method is far superior to the ranting and raving to which we sometimes revert. There are painless parenting solutions ~ let’s use them as often as possible!

Paula Fellingham is an internationally-acclaimed speaker, the author of 5 books, and the mother of 7 children. She has spoken at the United Nations and at conferences across the globe for over 30 years. Paula is a former radio talk show host and newspaper columnist. She is currently the CEO of The Women’s Information Network, www.TheWINonline.com. Paula’s mission is to strengthen women and families worldwide.