How to Handle Disobedient Teenagers
By Paula Fellingham

I often meet parents at my seminars who ask excellent questions. One of the most frequently-asked questions is,“What should I do when my teenager disobeys me?”

Here’s a common scene: Dad came in the back door after a long day at work. He was exhausted. As he hung up his coat, Dad could hear the television. Fifteen year-old Michael was watching television, as usual. Dad didn’t like this. Michael should be doing his homework, or cleaning his room - or doing something productive with his time. Dad went in to Michael and said, “Son, you need to clean up your room.” Without taking his eyes off the television, Michael answered, “Sure, Dad.” But he didn’t move.

How would you handle this?

Losing his temper is the wrong thing for Dad to do. His difficult day at work doesn’t justify Dad losing control. Dad should say something like this to his son: “Michael, I appreciate you being so willing to clean your room, but I’d feel better about it if you’d share with me your plan of when you’re going to get to it.”

Michael will probably say, “As soon as this program is over.” Dad asks, “When is that?” Michael: “About 40 more minutes. ”Dad can then say, “Good. Now I know you’ll turn off the TV in 40 minutes, and clean your room before dinner. Right?” Michael will say, “Right, Dad.”

Now suppose Michael turns off the television at the agreed-upon time and goes up to his room, but doesn’t clean it. I would kindly tell him - if he were my son - that he can eat as soon as he keeps his word to clean his room before dinner. Knowing growing, hungry boys, as I do, Michael needs no other incentive to obey.

Paula Fellingham is an internationally-acclaimed speaker, the author of 5 books, and the mother of 7 children. She has spoken at the United Nations and at conferences across the globe for over 30 years. Paula is a former radio talk show host and newspaper columnist. She is currently the CEO of The Women’s Information Network, www.TheWINonline.com. Paula’s mission is to strengthen women and families worldwide