When it feels like everyone is coming at you and you want to lash out…STOP!

You are a leader and must maintain control. But you are also a human being. Here are some secrets of easy techniques you can use to gain control over your reactions.

They are based in medical, psychological and behavioral research.

Controlling Lines

Try this technique at times when you are on the phone or in a meeting and have a paper and pencil handy. As Mr./Ms. “Snarley” is venting his/her complaints, listen to them. But instead of taking notes -- draw a specific doodle on the paper. Draw a series of at least 10 parallel horizontal lines down the margin of your page. Make sure each line is an inch long, and leave a half inch space between each line. Draw the lines slowly and precisely while holding your pencil tightly. This simple doodle stimulates the emotional control and logical thinking center in your mind. Instead of lashing out, you’ll be calm, focused and ready to solve the problem logically within just 10 seconds. Try it – it works!

“Life Breath”

When tense, people tend to breathe shallowly, not taking in the oxygen necessary for leadership level thinking. Use of the Life Breath technique assures that you release the tension, get the oxygen to the brain and stimulate the “clear thinking” chemical in your body. The secret here is to change your breathing for one breath, while you are listening to the distressing person or news.

Here’s how it works. Breathe in normally, exhale, then exhale a little more. Then don’t breathe in again holding it as long as you can. That is, until you get to a point where you feel that you must breathe in again. But challenge yourself and continue holding for 2 more counts – then breathe in.

When you finally take that breath, your chest will expand and release your tense muscles, and send the good oxygenated blood to your brain. Because your body has sensed an emergency, it will also send a shot of the “clear thinking” chemical to your brain with the good oxygenated blood. This enables you to come up with a creative solution or remember an important point to make. You will impress even yourself with your genius.

It’s important that you practice this technique in non-emergency situations, so you can learn to do it without a gasping noise. For instance, when you are stopped at stop lights in your car this week, do a Life Breath – until you can do it so quietly that no one will know.

Cooling Down Tempers

With this technique you can help others cool their anger without them realizing what you’re doing. You may have a client who is upset. “Your people can’t seem to get these orders straight! Can’t you ever get it right?”

In a calm voice, simply ask the upset person a question that requires a detailed answer. Here’s an example: “Could you tell us specifically what you ordered and when so we can work to correct the issue?” By answering this type of detailed question, the angry person will be going into the factual part of his or her mind, where there are fewer emotions. Plus, the facts in the answer will give you something to work with to solve the problem. You have probably used this technique many times without realizing it. The power lies in knowing when to use it – to calm the other person down.

Small Actions = Big Results

By monitoring people who are very effective at keeping their cool while under fire, we have learned that it’s the many little things they do during the day that make the difference. The ideas presented here are only a few of the many quick, practical techniques you can use to help you gain control of your mind on a moment’s notice during high-pressure situations. A disaster can be either created or prevented in a moment’s time. Don’t let other people or situations control you. Take control, by using these Leadership Communications Under Fire techniques. Then email me to share how it went or to ask for further guidance at Janelle@DynamicPerformance.com.

Janelle Brittain, MBA, CSP, is CEO & President of Dynamic Performance Institute, LLC and Dynamic Solutions Group., companies that help leadership and teams of organizations grow to their highest dynamic performance.  Her most recent books are “Star Team Dynamics: 12 Lessons Learned from Experienced Team Builders” and “How to Say It: Performance Reviews, Phrases and Strategies for Painless and Productive Performance Reviews.” To learn more, visit www.DynamicPerformance.com and WWW.DynamicSolutionsGp.com . To hear concrete advice or have your business questions answered, go to Janelle’s on-line audio shows at: https://thewinonline.com/shows/dynamic-performance-business-coach-bring-your-work-issues-janelle