Your relationship with your teen can be the one of the most rewarding or the most heartbreaking experiences of your life. The relationship you have with your teen may turn out to be very different than the one you had when they were younger. Teens are beginning to explore who they are and who they want to be. The more we resist the changes that are occurring at this pivotal time our relationship, the more pain we cause ourselves as parents. This very well might be the single most important time period in setting the tone and quality of your relationship with them as they become adults. Not important in doing it “perfectly” but in doing it in awareness and authenticity. According to the Merriam-Webster on-line dictionary the first definition of perfect is “being entirely without fault or defect”. This is how most of us think of perfection. But, if you go a little further down the list you will find “faithfully reproducing the original” and “lacking in no essential detail”. These definitions imply that nothing is missing, nothing needs to be changed and all is right with the world.

As a parent, I have been far from perfect in the traditional sense. I have made my fair share of mistakes in my relationship with my teens (and maybe some of your share as well)! Primarily it was just because I was not parenting from awareness of divine perfection. And from awareness & intention all things are perfect. I have a friend whose mentor once said to her “Everything is perfect, ONLY all the time”. We use this to remind one another that everything is just as it should be.

The way I’ve translated this into my parenting is that anything that is happening is not wrong and it is all perfect! If it weren’t it wouldn’t be happening. Have you ever seen a 300 pound hummingbird? NO because it’s WRONG! So, if it’s happening, it is meant to be and it is perfect.

Begin to look at your teen and your relationship with your teen as perfect. Look at it s an opportunity to discover new things about yourself. Maybe it’s a growth experience for one or both of you. Maybe it will deepen your relationship or expose something that is seeking to be healed. Everything that is happening right now is there as a gift. It may not be obvious right now but it’s perfectly imperfect!

Ronda Wada empowers teens and parents to have authentic, emotionally healthy relationships with one another. She is a coach, facilitator, and premier show host on www.thewinonline.com. Her proudest accomplishment is her own two teenagers, Neil & Alyssa. She can be reached at Ronda@RondaWada.com.