Worry is whenever we feel uneasy or anxious in ourselves.  This unease is usually surrounding an event that has not already happened (and may never happen).  We allow ourselves to be caught up in what might happen and sometimes we experience an inability to see how the event could turn out to be a positive experience.  We also doubt we have the ability either in our own actions or the actions of others to achieve a desirable outcome.

In this case we actively give energy and time to thinking negatively about something that may, or may not, happen in the future.

Our life experiences are the causes of a habit of worry.  We may have experienced our parents or other adults worrying about things when we were children, or we may have had things go wrong for us in the past and now we base our view of the future on these past outcomes.

We may also hold a belief that we cannot achieve good things in our lives or that life is hard.  We may even believe that we are not good enough to change personally, or change other things to turn out good and easy for us.  It is very common for people to create a list of ‘the worst case scenario’ so that if it happens they may feel more prepared for the worst.  However, just imagining the worst case scenario isn’t necessarily planning for it and be prepared to overcome those obstacles.  In such cases, we’re simply imagining the worst but not doing anything to prevent it.  And, it could also be said that we may never be fully prepared and then potentially may feel defeated and disheartened, as well as tired after all the energy spent on worrying about it.  This also leads to the question did we create this set of circumstances by focusing so much on the undesirable outcome?

Letting go of worry is a powerful principle to you could choose to incorporate in your life.  By choosing to live a life free of worry, you have decided to trust yourself and your abilities to overcome change and challenges.  You have decided to be more in the present where you have immediate control over your thoughts and actions.  And, most of all, you have decided that life can be good and provide you easily with everything and every experience you need.

Exercises for Further Consideration and Exploration for Overcoming Worry:

• When worry arises, don’t allow yourself to become absorbed in it.  Instead become a neutral observer.  As you watch the worry, unease or anxiety surge through you -  examine why it is there.  

See if it relates to a belief you have based on past experiences or observations of others worry.  It this really true for you now?  Is this really important or relevant to what you find yourself worrying about now?  Can you now see your situation in a different light?  

As you observe the worry and let it dissolve you can now ask yourself if there are things you could be doing now to get the outcome you want instead of being caught up in worrying about the outcome you don’t want.

• When you feel worry taking your energy and time and filling you full of negative thoughts, take a moment out to re-charge and re-centre yourself.  

Sit quietly for a few minutes, allow yourself to breathe deeply into your stomach (breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth) and clear your mind the best you can.  

When you feel calmer, allow your muscles to release any tension and just breathe.  Now in your mind, see the situation you are concerned about from a different point of view, and imagine it as if there was no chance of failure or things going wrong. 

Then allow yourself to see how you would be doing things differently and start to create a plan in your head of how this could happen for you.

• Practise staying in ‘the moment’ more often during your day.  Rather than focusing on the past in your mind or thinking about the future, be in the now.  

Look around you and appreciate exactly where you are right now.  What is it that is there that you are grateful for, even one thing?  What is the best use of your time right now?  What makes you more than capable right now?  What is achievable and realistic for you to be doing right now to achieve the satisfaction or outcome you are looking for?

• Do not over-generalise.  This can create a set of beliefs and events which support a negative view of your world. 

For example, avoid saying things to yourself and others like:

• “This type of thing never works.”
• “I can never see things through.”
• “I never have enough money.”
• “Everyone knows that isn’t going to happen.”
• “I don’t have enough hours in my day.”
• “All change is dreadful.”
• “No one from my type of background ever succeeds. 

These are all examples of defeating self talk.  They are not totally true, but you can make them true for you because you choose to believe them.  

Look at your current situation honestly.  What you are passionate about?  What do you want to achieve?  Then set about making the changes you want by getting advice from those who have done it, getting the resources you need and getting support from those who believe in you.  

Most importantly, believe in yourself, and instead of worrying about what might happen, focus on what you want to happen and what you can do now.

• Instead of researching and making a list of ‘worst case scenarios’, make a list and research ‘best case scenarios’.  This will allow you to feel more informed and take the appropriate action to take you closer to what you would like.

• When you feel yourself becoming uneasy with worry be patient with yourself.  Let yourself know that what you are worried about is in the future and if you are persistent and positive you can let go of the worry and spend your energy on creating and getting what you want with ease.  However, if it does not turn out how you wanted it too, it may just be what you need and/or you learnt a lot from the experience.

• Take one day at a time, the world won’t stop it you decide that just today you will let go of worry.

In closing I would like to leave you with two of my favourite quotes with reference to worry:-

“Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years.  If something is wrong, fix it if you can.  But train yourself not to worry.  Worry never fixes anything”.

Mary Hemingway. 

“As a rule, men worry more about what they can’t see than about what they can”.

Julius Caesar 

Author Profile:  Kirsty O’Callaghan is the Founder, Owner & Principal Coach at Unity-Qld.  Kirsty specialises in assisting and guiding parents to create a stronger connection with their children and satisfaction in their parenting role, from home to workplace. The techniques and strategies Kirsty uses focus on a holistic and individual basis; knowing we are all capable of greatness, with the right knowledge, tools and support.

Website:  www.unity-qld.com.au.

Phone: +61 7 3482 4295