A Personal Relationship is truly a gift to your life, but with the stress and strain of today’s world, relationships are just not as easy as they used to be… Help is definitely in order, and that help calls for an uninhibited “Spiritual Mind!” Or, to put it another way, when the old ways of doing things aren’t working for you, why not take the leap and try what “Spiritual Consciousness” and coloring outside the lines can deliver. Be bold! Try living “the truth” that in the world of Spirit, relationships are not between two people, they are between two Souls – two souls with “free will”, creative power, and the ability to design their own values. Gone are the days when you have to do things like your parents did them, or follow what a book says, or even emulate what your friends do. You can decide for yourself, using your Soul’s dynamic and evolutionary values… The Soul is about freedom and growth, and might ask you this:

What are the specific things that will bring each of you the most happiness and the ultimate fulfillment in your relationship?

Actually, the above question is meant to be an engaging exploration, and a practical means of supporting you to get in touch with -- and clearly outline -- what you desire in a relationship. The Soul knows no boundaries, and loves to “invent” and synthesize and integrate exactly WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU. I have worked with many “spiritually minded” couples to do this, so please let me assist you by listing some of the approaches that I have helped to facilitate so that you might try them on for size. I suggest that you use this list to guide you to formulate your own UNIQUE personal relationship, and to create your own relationship plan and love agreement. The format below first states the specific “principles”, and then goes on to expound upon the ideas by describing the actual steps that you might take… Here they are:

1) Create a “Vision” for Your Relationship…

Whatever is brought forth in life requires a “vision” for it to be successful. We all expect to develop a vision statement for our businesses, for service endeavors and for various projects both large and small, why would there not be an actual vision for your relationship? Everything in our lives starts with a concept! The first step is to spend some time determining what each person wants, and then take those desires and blend them together as a mutual plan for your shared dreams… You are an individual with your own values; and you must also be an expression of your Soul’s next steps for you to evolve. So, you are each invited to consciously choose exactly what you are joining your hearts to conceive of, and want to continue to grow.

2) Take the Leap and “Customize” Your Love…

You are the key to your own happiness. Although you learn from others and may find great benefit in books or educational endeavors, you are the only one who will ever hold the keys to your own happiness. When the two of you as a couple embarks upon a shared journey of a committed relationship, the only ones who can decide where you are going and how you will get there ARE THE TWO OF YOU. Every relationship is unique, so it is up to those who have come together to create the model that will work for them. Adopting the ideas of others will not be advisable because those ideas were not formulated for the two of you, or with any sense of your specific partnership…. In other words, YOUR relationship is an original!

3) Make a Commitment to “Honor” Your Differences…

The differences between two people in a relationship can either give, or they can take away, it’s all a matter of two things: APPRECIATION and HONORING! Yes, sometimes difference leads to conflict; in that case, it is important to recognize that every conflict that arises is an opportunity for your relationship to graduate to the next level. Think of such moments as “inspirational dissatisfaction”, and nothing more.

But, I must add, that having differences is never the problem, it is the way that you choose to be with each other in your differences that determines whether difference will lead to breakdown or breakthrough. Differences will result in conflict, and conflict can be natural and healthy -- because it is through conflict that you and your beloved will get to discover what is asking to be refined or transformed in your relationship. Conflict points to improvement… Your Soul wants everything to evolve!

4) No More Halves, only “Wholeness”…

Each person, whether part of a couple or not, has everything she or he will ever need to be the very best self that they can be. Contrary to that old saying about “better halves”, when you enter into a relationship, your union is made up of two complete selves!  You and your partner are not two halves that can only be whole when you are together. That is old thinking. You are two “wholes” – act accordingly!

Freedom and love can go together beautifully, and they MUST co-exist for your partner and you to maintain your individual wholeness. For wholeness, in its essence, is the EXPERIENCE OF AN INDIVIDUAL. If you were to take two apples and cut them in half and then place the two sets of halves together, would you then have a “whole” apple? No, you would not! You would have two halves of an apple, or in this case, four halves of two apples that were placed up against each other in a precarious manner; but they would not form a WHOLE apple… Is that clear enough!

5) “Organization” is What Brings Joy, Not Obligation…

Obligation binds you and imprisons you, period. There is nothing more to be said! The idea is to “organize” your lives so that you are sharing life together, and that delight in sharing with each other still allows you to BE YOU – and do what your Soul has come to do on Earth. Even in partnership you must still have space for your “Soul’s Purpose”, and to fulfill your personal mission, goals and dreams. So it behooves you (and your beloved) to discover ways to move through life with this conscious intention: To organize how you are going to be with those that you love, and still be your self, and carry out what your Soul is seeking to accomplish in this lifetime. Now, listen to this, and take it in as a gem of wisdom: The principle of “organization” and planning for togetherness, leaves room for flexibility, spontaneity and the ability to change your mind, so that you and your partner can remain who you are at all times. It is extremely important to make the space for you and your beloved to grow your love and enjoy your union!

Rev. Dr. Aliah MaJon is a celebrated Spiritual Teacher, a consummate coaching professional, and the creator of SOUL TECHNOLOGY®. For more than 30 years, she has bridged the gap between spirituality and real-world issues, and is inspired to demystify spiritual principles, use them as practical tools, and improve lives. You can find her FREE downloads and other offerings at “The SOUL TECHNOLOGY® Show” on the Women’s Information Network (The WIN!), and her work is truly amazing, life-changing, and brings the “Soul” out to play!

LINK TO SHOW: http://thewinonline.com/shows/soul-technology-show

Copyright © All Rights Reserved, 2004-2010. Rev. Aliah K. MaJon, Ph.D., D.D.