Teenage Sleepovers ~ To Go or Not To Go?
By Paula Fellingham

Thirteen-year old Elizabeth came running into the house after school one Thursday afternoon and excitedly announced to her Mom that her best friend was going to have a sleep-over at her house the following night. Elizabeth exclaimed, “All of the most popular girls in the school are going to be there! I am so excited...my FIRST sleep-over!” Mom was NOT excited. Mom didn’t like sleep-overs, and she didn’t want her daughter to go to one.
How should Mom handle this? What should she say to Elizabeth?

To most 13 year old girls, everything is VERY important. Social events are life or death matters. Remember your adolescent years?
This is a tough one. Mom wants to maintain her close relationship with her daughter, and she wants her daughter to have fun, and be able to enjoy her friends. But Mom knows that at sleep-overs young girls stay up most of the night. They often say and do things that they shouldn’t. And Mom doesn’t want her daughter learning things at the sleep-over that she shouldn’t know at age 13, or perhaps hearing things that wouldn’t be acceptable in their home.
The solution is complete honesty. Mom should explain her feelings about sleep-overs, and let Elizabeth know that because her Mom loves her so very much, and wants her to avoid temptation (that is greater at sleep-overs) she doesn’t want her to go. Mom needs to be very kind and honest, yet firm. If Elizabeth tries to “talk her out of it” Mom needs to stand firm in her decision.
Perhaps Mom and her daughter could plan a party to which all of the friends would be invited. They’d have pizza, play games, show a video, and have lots of fun, then all go home and sleep in their own homes. Or, Mom could suggest Elizabeth stay at the party until midnight and then come home. It would be a “late night” instead of a sleep-over.
If Elizabeth is still upset, she could be reminded that mothers and fathers have an important stewardship for their children ~ to lead them, guide them and teach them the best way they know how. This is the choice Mom is making as the mother. When it is Elizabeth’s turn to be a mother, in about 10 years, she can make whatever choice she wants for her children.
At the end of their conversation, Mom should remind her daughter again of the deep love she feels for her.

Paula Fellingham is an internationally-acclaimed speaker, the author of 5 books, and the mother of 7 children. She has spoken at the United Nations and at conferences across the globe for over 30 years. Paula is a former radio talk show host and newspaper columnist. She is currently the CEO of The Women’s Information Network, www.TheWINonline.com. Paula’s mission is to strengthen women and families worldwide.