Try a little experiment with me. Point to yourself. Now, notice where you’re pointing. If you are like the thousands of people I’ve asked to do this, you’re pointing to your heart. Nobody ever points to their head or belly-button or kneecap. Why? Because we instinctively feel the heart is the essence of who we are.

Imagine looking deeply into the eyes of someone special and uttering the words, “I love you with all my head.” It just doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?

Throughout history, people of all cultures have considered the heart, the seat of our emotions, to be central to human happiness and wisdom. In many traditions, the heart is referred to as the diamond, the jewel or the lotus–-all symbolizing the deepest and most valuable essence of our being.

Our hearts are where the “juice” in our life comes from and when that juice is flowing, we feel great. When it’s not, we feel unhappy.

I know this all too well from my own experience. For many years, I lived on and off with a severe, stabbing, and often debilitating pain in my heart. It began over twenty years ago, right after I ended a relationship with a man I loved. Although I didn’t plan to marry him, I fell apart when he started dating a good friend of mine. I figured my heartache would mend with time, or at least, when I met someone new. But it persisted. At times, I felt couldn’t take another breath because the pain was so intense; other times, I was afraid I was having a heart attack. I visited many doctors, but no one could find a physical reason for the pain. My heart was heavy, both physically and emotionally. It was only when I began to practice the Happiness Habits for the Heart you’ll learn in this chapter that my pain finally diminished.

My interviews with the Happy 100 revealed an important truth: Happy people let love lead in their lives. Although they have the same kind of fears, pain, and disappointments as the rest of us, they simply have different habits that allow them to keep their hearts open in their daily lives. When you practice these habits, you’ll experience a more loving and open heart.

Think back to a happy time from your childhood: a special family outing, having fun with your best friend, or maybe getting your very first cat or dog. How do you feel recalling these memories? Chances are you feel a warmth and sweet flow in your heart. This is your heart’s energy. NEEDS ENDING.