Activities are a great way to instill the values you are trying to teach your children. In this episode you will learn about three different activities you can do with your children to teach them about honesty.

The first is a game you can play anywhere. The children have to answer each statement true or not true. Ask simple questions

• The sky is pink
• The tree is green
• We see with our eyes
• We smell with our ears
• The milk we drink comes from dogs
• Eggs come from chickens

When they know the difference between true and not true, you can take it a  step farther. Tell them that not true is equivalent to a lie.

• Take a piece of candy and eat it. Then say I didn't eat the candy.

The next activity is after your children understand what is a lie, is to discuss with them the different times people lie and make a list. Here are some examples;

• Cheating on tests
• Cheating in a game
• Lying in sports so you can win
• Exaggerating
• Telling someone they look nice when they really don’t (flattery)
• Not telling the whole truth so that you won’t get in trouble
• Twisting the truth just a little so that it won’t sound so bad
• Lying to protect yourself
• Lying to protect someone else
• Not returning something to someone because you want it.    

Now that you have your list, the last activity is to create another game. It is called the Consequence Game. Take an 8 by 11 paper and cut it into fourths. Read more ...

Honesty is the backbone of healthy relationships. And if we as parents want our children in healthy relationships we need to give our children the tools necessary to live with integrity in their lives.

Tomas Jefferson said Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.

I know I want my children to have wisdom in their lives. I hope you desire the same for your children.

How can you as a parent help your children learn about honesty?

The first step is to stress honesty in your children's lives. You are laying a foundation that will help them succeed in life for without honesty, our children will be less likely to make friends, succeed in a career, or have a happy marriage. Even if it seems hard it is one of the best things you can do for your children.

The next step is to catch your children being honest especially in tough situations. If you praise them when they are honest it will encourage them to be honest more often and brag to people about how proud you are of your children's honesty. 

The last thing for you to do is to expect honesty, you will get what you expect from your children. No one is perfect. One of my teenagers tells me lies every now and then, even so I still expect the truth.

It is hard to be honest, but when you are, people know that they can trust you and when people trust you. You will be able to go far.

We are going to discuss three ways to help your children learn honesty.

1.Most importantly, you are their role model. If your children see you being honest with them and with others, they will more likely be honest with you. Tell your kids when you are honest and when you struggle with dishonesty. Read more ...

Last week we discussed some ways to gain self-control and that you could teach them to your children. A couple of weeks ago we talked about your children's Intelligence. Another thing you could do to help your children gain control is to have them do an activity they are gifted in; if it is music have them listen to music, if it is words let them do a crossword problem or read, etc.  

After they have been able to calm down ask your children to think about the situation:

• What happened?
• What was going on?
• What emotions did they feel?

 By asking these questions they will gain knowledge to improve their self-control.

 Here is an activity you can do with your children to introduce the concepts of self-control.

 Play a game like Operation or Jenga. These games take slow careful movements. You can talk about self-control as you are playing them. 

What are the consequences of your moves?

How do you feel when you make the buzzer ring or when it falls down?

Self-control is more than keeping your cool when you are angry. It can also be not complaining about a situation or someone or waiting to get something you really want now, or even choosing not to eat that extra cookie.

Aristotle said, "I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self."

The greatest victories we can have in our life is over ourselves. Self-control might be hard, but it is possible. Encourage your children to take control over themselves.

Self-control is a vital part of who we are. Thoughts are our foundation because they direct our feelings. The next two layers in our house is self-control and perseverance.  

People with high self control don't react to someone else's emotions. They are able to think clearly and stay focused under pressure. No one can control the events or the people surrounding them, but they can control their own emotions and actions.

How do you have self-control?

1. By choosing what you think about. What feelings are your thoughts producing? Those feelings will dictate what you do or don't do, so be careful about what you dwell on.

2. Don't let your feelings get the best of you. If you know you are feeling upset with someone or you are craving something you know you shouldn't have, do something to get your mind off the situation; listen to music, exercise, or read. If you find yourself dwelling on those feelings again pick up on the activity again. (It may take several times before you are able to conquer your feelings but you can do it.)

3. Take deep breaths. This can help you calm down if you feel like you are loosing it.

4. Repeat the above over and over again until you know you have self-control. This is where perseverance comes it. It won't be better the first time you try to have control but like everything else you will be able to control yourself better and faster with practice.

Once you have practiced self-control, you are now able to teach it to your children.

When you child knows their strengths and weaknesses they will be able to succeed because they can focus on what they love. When anyone focuses on what they enjoy doing they can easily accomplish more because it doesn't seem like work to them. They are energized by doing it instead of the I'm doing this because I have to.

Everyone has a weakness and that’s ok. If we focus on doing what we are strong at and let others do things we are weak at, we will get much more accomplished.

This is where team work comes in. Not everyone can do everything.

I have two daughters. One is very outgoing, with People Intelligence, the other is shy but, is very intelligent in the written Word.

Over the years they have both wished to be like the other. I have told them both "your sister is able to do some things you can't and you also can do things that she can't. You have your own special gifts and talents. That is your strength. That is what makes you unique. Don't worry if you can't be like her. You are special and you will succeed in different areas."

They finally stopped comparing themselves to each other. I also believe that they won’t compare themselves to other people because they know that they are special and have something to give to this world. Read more ...

In life we are part of a team. It could be your family, friends, work, church, sports, etc.

An Olympic athlete does not get to the Olympics by themselves. They need coaches, family, and/or sponsor if they are going to succeed. Even the most successful business needs a team. No one can do it all by themselves. 

Who is in your children's team? Do your children know who is rooting for them to be successful?

90% of being an athlete is the ability to see yourself succeeding. That takes some kind of training and believing.

Norman Vincent Peale said, "It takes struggle, a goal and enthusiasm to make a champion."

Have you told your children that struggles are a part of life? Do they know that they will have struggles and it is ok? I use to think that if I was struggling it meant I did something wrong. I would berate myself because I was a terrible person. If I wasn't, then all these bad things wouldn't be happening to me.

If you have that thought process it is hard for you to succeed because you are always second guessing yourself. That thought process formed when I was a child. Because if I was good enough, my dad would have never let my mom take custody of me in the divorce. That underlining thought stopped me from succeeding in life until I dealt with it.

Not all children blame themselves during a divorce. But it can be something else. Children on the playground that have issues themselves cut down your children because it is the only way they can feel good about themselves.

Your children are forming a foundation. I chose a foundation that wasn't real to anyone but me. I chose it without knowing I did. Read more ...

Emotions are powerful.  We usually don't realize how much they affect our lives and the lives of those around us, but they lie behind every thing we say or do even though most of the time we are not aware of them.

Vincent Van Gogh said, "Let's not forget that the little emotions are the great captains of our lives and we obey them without realizing it."

Remember the first time you fell in love?  What were your emotions doing?  Did you let things bother you or did you let thing slide?

Now think of your most heart wrenching break up.  What were your emotions doing?  Did you let things bother you or did you let things slide?

Our emotions affect how we see, hear or even do things, most of the time it’s immediately, however sometimes it affects how we see things the next day or a week from the event.  Usually we don't even realize the power they have had on us.  Sadly we don't pay attention or give the compassion needed to children whose negative emotions are charting their lives which will affect them in the years to come.

We expect perfection.  Children do have a hard time dealing with divorce or if one of the parents leave.  They internalize things, and say to themselves “if only I had been better.” Read more ...

The term Emotional Intelligence was coined in 1995 by Daniel Goleman who wrote a book titled Emotional Intelligence, Why It Can Matter More Than IQ.

Even though he coined the term, the concept of emotional intelligence has been only been around for a few years.  Books such as; Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill or How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie talk about the four quadrants of emotional intelligence in each chapter.

There are different versions of what Emotional Intelligence is, but the basic quadrants are:

• Self Awareness
• Social Awareness
• Self Management
• Social Management

The topics covered in each of these areas change slightly.  I like to use the following when helping children grow into successful adults.

Self Awareness is the ability to be able to know your emotions and recognize their impact.

• Self-Confidence – Recognizing how important you are and how you affect the lives of others.
• Self-Assessment – Knowing our strengths and limits.

Social Awareness is the ability to sense, understand, and react to others' emotions. Read more ...

William James said, "Human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind." What a great saying. We can alter our lives by what we choose to think about.

What a simple yet complex statement. Why is that? Napoleon Hill wrote a book that has made millions of people millionaires. Do you know what that book was?

Think and Grow Rich. He was saying the same thing that William James said. It is our mind that controls what is happening around us.

If you plant a tomato plant eventually you will reap tomatoes. Our minds are the same if we plant good thoughts we will reap a good attitude. If we plant negative thoughts we will reap negative attitudes.

As mothers we plan what we are going to fix for breakfast, lunch and dinner. We do this to make sure our children are physically fit to go through their day. We need to plan times of feeding their minds.

What are ways to nourish their minds?

• Physical exercise- helps produce endorphins that create a positive attitude
• Fresh air is great for the mind
• Studying success - find someone who has succeeded in your children's favorite areas and study them
• Introduce new things
• Break the normal routine

Ralph Waldo Emerson said "Sow a thought and you reap an action; sow an action and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny." 

By planning these activities into your week you are helping to nourish your children's mind while taking control of their destiny.

When we have an attitude good or bad it is an expression of what we are feeling inside. That expression is often expressed through our body language and through the looks on our faces. Not only can our attitudes be seen they can be caught. Have you ever  noticed what happens to a group of people when one person with a negative attitude walks up and joins that group? Or what about someone who has a positive attitude walks into the room?

We can not always choose our circumstances but we can choose our attitude which does have an affect on our circumstances. I know this one lady that always has something bad happening to her. It is amazing what happens to her. She brings those negative circumstances into her life by her negative attitude.

How can you help your children deal in a positive way when they live in a constant atmosphere of negative circumstances?

When they are feeling negative about someone or something ask them to tell you five things they appreciate about that person or thing. This helps them change their attitude. Another good time is before they are going to bed or even at the dinner table. Ask them to tell you five things they are grateful for. Then tell them what you are grateful for. Read more ...