I have had you in my life for almost 27 years. We know each other quite well, don't we? I believe you helped me survive my teen years. I could not handle living in my world-my family, my home life, my school or my friends. You helped me by soothing my pain-I was able to numb our from my chaotic world.

I am unsure when the control switched all over to you-or were you always in control? In the beginning, it seemed that I felt in control of what I ate, what I kept in and my weight. But, as of of today, I feel like I hold no control.

Everyday is dedicated to you, You are on my mind as soon as I awake and when I go to sleep. I try to think of other things, but I am unable. I try to dedicate my life to my family, friends, God or art and am unable. It seems like I try to pry away from you-I try to seperate and you will not allow it. Your presence overpowers my entire being. I am unable to hear my own thoughts, I am unable to see clearly or move about in a balanced way. I am always being tugged away from whatever  I am doing-to be with you.

You tell me thing that make me sad-but I believe them, You tell me to do things that I don't want to do, but I obey. I am trying to break away from you, but you are not allowing it. I am sorry to want to leave you, but I MUST! Please let me go, I thank you for what you have done for me in the past, but I am in a different situation in my life. I have a famliy and a purpose in my life. I cannot juggle our relationship and life at the same time, When I am with you, nothing else matters. My mind is blank, my body is numb and my time is occupied. This is not living within God's laws.

I know God would not want me to keep doing what I am doing, When I am with you, I abuse my body, mind and spirit. I need to do the opposite of that. Please unclench your grasp from me, please let me breathe freely. I have other people and tools that I can use to assist me in my life. I do not need to be so dependent on you. Please let me go, I will be different, but I need to adapt and live life to the fullest. I need to know how to handle what life gives me, I need to be present, rather than living in your secret world.

In your secret world, I am seperate from everyone else. I have come to realize I need connection with other people. When I am in the secret world, I am cold, sad and alone, Yet, when I am with others, I feel alive! So, please let me go and allow me to express what God had gifted me in this world. Allow me to blossom, connect and share with others. Let me be free of your bondage.

I thank you how you have serviced me, but I know I am ready to be released.

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