Valentines Day - and Alone

 Are you avoiding thinking of Valentines Day? Would you like to just avoid the day?

No matter what you are feeling, the day will come! Here are a few ideas of things you might do to make it a day you’ll remember with a smile, rather than wanting to forget!

1. Create a surprise for someone else. I like to do at least one thing anonymously - it must come from the days when I was growing up and our tradition was to make valentines and then put them on people’s doorsteps, ring the doorbell, and run! There’s something about the surprise element that makes it doubly fun!

2. Be real.Be honest. If the people around you want you to join in the festivities - and you would rather have a quiet evening at home, let them know. On the other hand, if you want to be with people, invite someone to join you and make an evening of it. It needn’t be expensive - just a rented DVD or a board game and some popcorn can make memories you’ll treasure forever!

3. Take a moment to count your blessings.  You may not have the thing you want the very most - but you definitely have something to be grateful for. Acknowledging those things can chase the blues away and help you see that, in spite of tragedy, life goes on, and there can still be reasons to smile.

4. Think of something special you really want to do - and do it.  Is there a movie you’ve been wanting to see? A ticket to the symphony or a play you’ve wanted to purchase? A piece of jewelry or article of clothing you have been waiting to buy? Life is meant to have some golden moments, and there’s nothing wrong with creating some for yourself. Choose a ‘treat’ - and indulge!

5. Serve someone  - I know this may sound like a repeat of number one, but serving is SO important when we are healing from loss, and there are many ways to do it. Surprising someone anonymously is fun, but there is something sweet about actually interacting with someone in a meaningful way that isn’t found when you’re not in the presence of another human being. Find someone that needs a visit, or someone who looks lonely and could use a smile or a sincere compliment - and be the one that fills that need. Lifting another’s heart will definitely fill your heart with warmth.

If there's one thing I keep learning since my husband died it is that I can choose. I can choose to stay miserable, or I can choose to move toward healing. May you find the strength and courage this Valentines day to choose something that will bring further healing into your life! 

With love,

Roslyn